Unicorn hunting research: 80 couples and the missing voice

Unicorn hunting is talked about constantly in lifestyle forums and dating apps, yet scientific research on it is sparse. A 2026 study in the journal Psychology & Sexuality is one of the few direct looks at the people doing the searching. It is worth reading carefully, because what it found, and what it could not ask, says a lot about the debate.

The study in brief

The paper, titled "Searching for a third: couples' experiences of unicorn pursuit, desire, and ethical tensions", is by Alena Bondarchuk-Mclaughlin (La Trobe University, Melbourne), Nat Amos and Joel R. Anderson. According to the coverage in PsyPost, 80 participants recruited through social media and an online survey platform took part. All were currently or previously part of a couple seeking a third person. They answered five open-ended questions about who they wanted to join them, their goals and how the search affected their relationship. The researchers analysed the answers qualitatively and grouped them into four categories: desired characteristics of the third person, effects on the couple, ideal relationship dynamics and actual encounters.

What the couples said

• Who they wanted. Most sought a woman, mostly a bisexual woman. About a quarter said gender was irrelevant.
• Effect on the couple. Nearly 80 percent said the search brought them closer, improving communication, honesty and trust. A small minority reported negative effects linked to disagreement, pressure or breaches of trust.
• What kind of relationship. A majority wanted a mainly sexual relationship with the third person and many wanted minimal romantic involvement. About 40 percent wanted an emotional connection.
• Actual encounters. Many couples kept strictly sexual boundaries, often with one-night encounters. About a quarter formed ongoing social or romantic relationships.
• Difficulty. Almost half reported difficulty finding a third person.

The gap that matters

The figure that stands out is a small one: only 12 percent mentioned prioritising the newcomer's feelings or treating them as an equal, and only a small fraction mentioned the third person's own desires or pleasure. This matches what critics have said for years. The SHIPS Psychology article in Melbourne argues that framing the couple as "we" and setting rules before the third person arrives creates a power imbalance. The Swaddle argued in 2020 that the practice can commodify queer women.

It also fits what advice for unicorns says. Feeld's guide, written by the Poly Philia project, tells people who join couples to look for partners who consider their feelings and give them a voice, and to be wary of rigid requirement lists. Our own guide for unicorns turns those warnings into a checklist.

What the study cannot tell us

The study's limits are important, and the authors acknowledge them:

1. The data are self-reported, and only the searching individuals were surveyed, not the people they approached. We learn what couples wanted and how they felt; we do not learn how third persons experienced it.
2. The survey wording used the example "bisexual woman", which may have shaped what people answered.
3. The survey did not ask about the gender of participants' partners, so it cannot show how the make-up of the original couple affects the search.

So the 80 percent figure should not be read as "unicorn hunting works". It says that the couples who answered felt closer, not that the people they met did.

What it means for couples and for unicorns

For couples, the useful reading is that conversation seems to be the benefit: the search made partners talk about desire and limits. That is a reason to keep talking, including about the person you are hoping to meet. Our guide for couples proposes ways to do it.

For singles, the useful reading is the absence: if the research says little about your side, you will need to set your own expectations. Ask what the couple will do when you need something, not only what they want from you.

For anyone, remember that good practice is not new. Consent, honest communication and respect for each person involved are the common ground. Our myths and realities article and the guide on consent and boundaries go through them.

Frequently asked questions

Is unicorn hunting harmful?

The research cited here does not measure harm to third persons. Critics describe risks such as unequal power, objectification and treating the person as expendable. A small minority of the study's couples reported negative effects on themselves.

Does the study say it is common?

It does not give prevalence. It surveyed 80 people already in the situation.

Where can I read the original?

The paper is in Psychology & Sexuality; we relied on the PsyPost summary and did not have access to the full text.

Sources (consulted 7 November 2026)

• PsyPost, Couples searching for a third partner report stronger bonds but often ignore the third person
• SHIPS Psychology (Melbourne), Unicorn Hunting
• The Swaddle, Unicorn hunting commodifies queer women
• Feeld / Poly Philia, How to be a unicorn